Now that you have the background, let me tell you all something that makes me mad.
Webpages that tell me it wasn’t love. They say it was “fantasy love”.
It is not fair to tell someone that just because they were having an affair that it wasn’t love. Sure, maybe we didn’t have time on our side, or real life struggles to go through, but we had time and we had struggles. We worked through our struggles with love and patience. It was real. It is real.
He loves me. I will always know that he loves me. It is the way that he loves me that tells me. He finds joy in making me happy. Selfless. He will rub my shoulders for hours just to make me feel better, even if I’m not in pain. He is excited if I’m excited. It brings him joy to bring me even a smile. He looks for ways to pour out love to me.
I do the same. I’m not half as good as he is at it, but he sure makes me want to be an expert giver because I see what it does for him when I pour out my love. Its a mutual love for being generous to one another.
I can’t remember if that ever happened with my husband. It may have and I have since forgotten but I can’t remember a time that he wanted to make me feel better. Even today, if I have the flu, I have to ask for him to do things for me. He will do them because he loves me, but I have never felt like it was his joy to care for me. Sure, he gets me flowers from time to time, and I love them, but it is like he does it for himself, not for me.
One thing i do know… I have never loved waking up next to someone before him. I remember looking over at him and smiling, just so thrilled that he was really there. I hope I never forget that feeling.
People also say that it cannot be love because we started our relationship on deceit. To a point I agree. If I marry my paramour someday, I do think a part of me will always wonder if he will cheat on me. If I do, and if he does, I think it’ll be okay. It will hurt like bloody hell, yes, but what could I say? Imagine the kind of love, that will forgive the worst of the worst simply by saying “hey… me too”. After all, I am also a cheater. Will always be. So Christians, when someone confesses something to you, consider saying “me too”. I think it will make the world an easier place and everyone to feel a little less alone.
So, if you are like me, and you have fallen for someone that isn’t your spouse… believe me, it can be real and you deserve to know that it can be real.